Here’s Hoping

Quarantining makes one think. A lot. We think about how this happened. We ponder how long we will be separated like this. We think, perhaps too long, what would happen if we were to contract this awful virus taking lives, stealing our living and putting us on this great pause. I just want to press play, or rewind really far to where this hasn’t happened and then just fast forward to where it’s over, but that’s wishful thinking.

Too much thinking leads to too much drinking and eating and searching for things to do other than eating and drinking and thinking. After five weeks of too much thinking, I am taking to the page.

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We all cope in different ways. My role in this quarantined life is of the nurturer. That’s not so different from my usual role in my family dynamic, except now its magnified. I shop, cook, clean, launder, provide well thought out meals all dressed up with the best cutlery and ceramics, linen and glassware. My grandmother has been whispering in my ear this last month. “Life is to be lived. Get out the expensive dinner plates. Eat off them!” If life must be lived in worry and uncertainty, let it at least look good. Cause if that old adage, “if you Iook good, you feel good” was ever needed, now is the time. So really, my role is one of presenter. My family is living in an unwanted reality. But, at least at meal times, it looks good.

Two weeks ago I asked my husband to get out the old projector we used to use when the kids were little in the summer to watch movies outside. We’ve made an effort to make some fun in the midst of this madness. My kids aren’t really kids any more – they are more like young adults, but they dove right in. They pulled up the chairs, made popcorn, fought over which movie to watch and watched them, outside with the stars and a little fire in the outdoor fireplace.

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We’ve played countless games and completed some tough puzzles. We’ve all been on countless walks and bike rides. We’ve all stared inside the fridge hoping to find something we haven’t already seen and eaten.

Our little world has become a bit smaller. And bigger. While we are living day in and day out with the same walls, the same neighborhood, the same routines and worrying, and thinking, I’ve noticed a shift in the states of minds of my people here. My people are now planning. This is a sign of something we all need right now. That’s hope.

Hope is hopefully going to take the place of thinking. It’s important to pick up on these little cues. No one really knows for sure when this quarantine will be over, but I am happy to see they are planning for it.

Who was it who said if you want something, to put it out in the universe and it will happen? I’m hoping that that saying is true. All of us want this to be over. We want to start thinking of something else. Here’s hoping that very soon we will all be too distracted with plans and living to be thinking.

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